1st Post for 2010

Thoughts has been running through my mind for these few days. Forgive me for not updating all these months as there were too many things happened.

It has been up and down for kel - mum passed on, dad got heart-attack and out of sudden he has to carry the whole family burden with him. Beside coping with all the family matters, he still have be mentally and emotion strong for his family. I know all these while has been hard on him, stress has been building up every single day.

Actually, at times i will blame myself for working late @ that particular day. Cos if he didn't come and pick me up on that night, he will still have chance to have his "last" words with his mum.

For his Biz, i know he worked very hard for it and it will be for his dad and me. It just moving very slow all through the months and finally got some ray of lights at 4th quarter of the year. Hopefully 2010 will just as what shifu predicted, 2010 will be a fruitful year.

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I have been quite emotional for these few days, it's not becos of stress or whatsoever. It's all becos of him, i don know whether he still love me and will he still be there for me cos he has given me the feeling that I'm very "extra" in his presence, he wont tell me anything - this make me feel lost... As i wont know what to do to savage the situation.

That night he was telling me that it's unfair for me to suffer all his burden with him, these "things" has been sucking on our mental energy and make us aged. He wont want to tell me anything cos he don want to me to worry about him. He wont want to tell me anything cos there's nothing much i can do for him. All i can do is just stand beside and watch him.

I truly understand what he meant but if you don't let me know, it makes me even more worry cos i will be lost within your emotions. If you don't tell me, how u know that's so much i can do. If i really cant do much, at least i can think of a way.

All these "things" although sucked our mental energy, our emotions and make us aged, at least it makes us become more mature and look further in our visions.

What i want you to know i will always stay by your side and give you my fullest support. Whatever happen or any obstacles, as long we are together all things will be resolve.

2010 will be better for us... I promised.